Ladies – why is it so important to know about your pleasure anyway? Like – what’s the big deal? I’ll share a bit about my story to explain why I think it is so important.
As a kid and teen, I always sought out physical connection and exploration with my peers – I can remember doing this as early as age 4. I got to have some amazing and not-so-amazing experiences. The problem was, while I was having fun exploring, my focus was always on whoever I was with at the time rather than myself. I learned how to please them, their preferences, and what I could do to knock their socks off. Very rarely was the experience reciprocated. I was ok with that at the time, but once I got deep into my marriage in my late 20’s, and early 30’s I regretted it. Sex was not exciting and was often frustrating. My only measurement for whether it was good or not was if I experienced a climax. Or if my partner did. Even when I started into the world of being a pleasure provider, I found myself only focused on my partner’s pleasure which was usually fine – except for those clients that would only get off if they saw me enjoying myself.
The challenge was I didn’t know what I liked. I was doing what I saw others do, usually in porn. That formula was to simply go harder and faster. As I explored the worlds of swinging and BDSM, I learned how to intensify things by adding more people, more intense sensation, and playing on the edge. While I had a lot of fun, I was not satisfied. I still had the drive for more. I rarely climaxed or felt satiated.
My first understanding of why I was the way I was came during my training as a sexological bodyworker. I was witnessed during a self-pleasure session, and I was able to witness others. I felt layers of shame be released. I found out that I was leaving key parts of my anatomy untouched, let alone fully experiencing the pleasure available.
The next deep learning came from a practice called Orgasmic Meditation. That gave me a way to systematically and methodically explore my pleasure. I got to expand my definition of orgasm and stop being goal-oriented. I was able to be in “the feminine” and practice receptive energy, maybe for the first time in my life.
From there, I learned so much about pleasure and connection. And now, I want to share these things with you as much as possible during the Female Pleasure Mapping Challenge week. I’ll be doing a short Facebook live every day in my group so that you can get a digestible bite-size piece of information that you can apply right away.
There is no better time to have an experience like this. Most of us are not receiving enough touch and affection. Most of us have high levels of adrenaline and cortisol running through us daily due to all the panic and confusion happening in the world. Taking time out for yourself for connection, grounding, and pleasure will help all the other hours of your day be more fulfilling. Usually, we put ourselves on the back burner, and then everyone suffers when we burn out. Most of us are not in the position to get away for a week or even a weekend. That’s why doing a little bit every day is the most practical solution I could think of to help as many women as possible.
So don’t delay. Don’t let “practicalities” or made-up obligations stop you from doing this for yourself. If you feel the desire to do it, sign up. Go to my group https://www.facebook.com/groups/100pssyprjct, go to events and click “going”. Then you’ll be notified of when I go live. You don’t have to be present to participate – you can watch the recordings at your convenience.