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• Female ejaculation aka Squirting can be super, super pleasurable, and also you can have a lot of pleasure without it. So don’t think you’re doing something wrong if you can’t achieve it. But I do believe every woman can access it. Every woman can manipulate the muscles.
• All of this can be helped by a lot of self-exploration. Most women do not put as much priority on their pleasure as men do. I know some men who have robust self-pleasure practice, edging all day long. But most women who self-pleasure only do it more as a way to release pressure.
• Create the time and space to have privacy.
• Make a ritual of it – have a candle, a flower, some music. When I did this, it engaged my mind more. I was more present and in the moment during the self-pleasure practice. I would do things like dance with myself in the candlelight in the mirror, stroke my body with a rose, and put lotion or oil all over my body.
• Often, I am so focused to just get turned on and have a climax so I can go to sleep or go on to the next thing. Having these more extended periods allowed me to really learn what feels good.
• What happens with pleasure mapping – which is something I love to teach – your body feels differently with different states of arousal. When you let yourself have full sensation and full arousal – then things feel different.
• Give yourself one hour. I start off with a really hot bath or shower. Dry off and put oil or lotion on. Light a candle. Then I start the self-touch and doing things that make me feel good. And be turned on. Then I have lube and do a pu**y massage or a*al massage.
• Sometimes I’ll have a self-pleasure session where my goal is to get myself to the edge of orgasm by the time my 45 min timer goes off. Then for the final 15 minutes, I practice edging. It’s been freaking amazing because I’m able to really play with that orgasmic energy. I can feel it rolling up and down my body. If it wanes too much then I give myself more stimulation to bring the energy back up.
• My partner sex has been getting better. As I’m finding pleasurable spots inside my body I’m able to show them to my lovers. It’s been super powerful. I’ve been able to reach this orgasmic zone much more quickly and stay there much longer and be blissed out with myself or with my partner.